Simply a Waste!

This is so frustrating! So many things have come up over that last two weeks that I really want to blog about, but I simply don't have time. So what I'm going to do is write a quick post about some ideas from this Friday, but with the promise to write about earlier happenings (i.e. my fantabulous Alternative Spring Break to the Tohono O'odham Indian Reservation in Arizona!) in the not-too-distant future.

In one of the many conversations with my grandma over Christmas, a peculiar side-effect of certain feminist activism promoting women's increased or equal participation in the "labour force" came up: the devaluation of parenting and of the stay-at-home parent in general.

On Friday night, as a very dear friend of mine and I were painting Ukrainian Easter Eggs and discussing our futures, that same issue came back into the picture. To it was added the issue that with today's divorce rates, it has become a pretty risky affair to be economically dependent on one's spouse.

So although we both agreed we'd love to have families, part of us would feel unfulfilled, as if we were wasting our skills if we'd didn't work too. Of course, we assured each other, that's foolish: raising kids (well) is as great a service to the community as any other! Now the thing about stating the matter so impersonally, is that most university students (ourselves included) don't really see it as applying to them.

So, pretty sure of what to expect, I still had to ask: "Do you think it would be a waste for me to be a stay-at-home dad?" She answered no. And once she said it (no doubt influenced by hour of playing with her two-year-old niece earlier that evening) I was filled such a happy, relieving, slightly exciting feeling.

No need to worry! I'm not going to drop out of school or forget about plans for after my undergrad... Part of my reaction comes from the fact that I do want family to be a central part of my life (even if I am working) and I guess, without knowing it, I was a little insecure about that, probably because, other than my parents, I don't think I've ever had someone so explicitly validate this goal.

But I'd be lying if I denied that another part of my reaction comes from the fact that being a stay-at-home dad is one dream from high school that seems to have quickly faded away in university and simply knowing that I could do that and it that would be ok is wonderful!

So if you dare, ask yourself: Do you think it would be a waste for you to be a stay-at-home parent? And if you're really brave, ask someone else!